Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke Message Board

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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: The Philosopher who wrote (10539)	7/3/1999 10:24:00 AM
From: Edwarda	of 62549

Bumper Stickers Actually Spotted  Save the trees ... Wipe your butt with an owl.  Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.  Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window  Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.  If you can beat me, you can eat me! (seen on a Corvette driven by a “drop-dead gorgeous blonde”)  Who lit the fuse on your tampon?! (men saying this are known to die a violent death)  Fight Crime: Shoot Back!  If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, on a Jeep)  Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.  A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.  Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.  Feel safe tonight ... Sleep with a cop.  Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.  GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.  If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut??  Impotence: Nature's way of saying “No hard feelings”  I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.  Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends  We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?  Axe me about Ebonics  Boldly going nowhere  Cat: The other white meat  CAUTION - Driver legally blonde  Don't be sexist - broads hate that!  Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway  He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged  If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you  If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets  If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now  WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition  What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

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