Oh, my goodness, E. I do believe what I said - women are, by and large, different than men in the way that they handle interpersonal conflict. Not like night and day, I don't mean that it's like opposites. I don't mean that men refuse to co-operate and women never argue.
I mean that there is a difference in style. How about if I generalize from what I have seen in the workplace. Let me put quotation marks around "men" and "women", so you know I am talking in generalities. "Women" want people who have conflict to both have their say and then reconcile their differences. "Women" perceive conflict as threatening harmony, and "women" like harmony. If the conflict can't be resolved, and it involves a woman, she is miserable, and takes it personally.
"Men" don't like conflict all that much, either, but they think it's inevitable, and tolerate it as long as it doesn't disturb the heirarchy. If a man has a problem with another man, neither one usually backs down, unless one is the boss. In the best case, they can make edgy jokes to each other. In the worst case, they avoid each other. But they don't "let it get to them" and they don't let it affect their work.
"Women" who chair committees want everyone to voice their opinion before a vote, and make sure that everyone has a chance to speak if they want to, and then strive for unanimity.
"Men" who chair committees try to run things their own way.
I should point out that if you really care whether I agree with you, that's female style. I don't care whether you agree with me, but I don't want to disturb the harmony.;^) |
