OMB, Here are some Old Testament ways of finding a good wife. Reasonable?(grin)
TOP 10 BIBLICAL WAYS TO ACQUIRE A WIFE
10. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours (Deuteronomy 21.11-13).
9. Find a prostitute and marry her (Hosea 1.1-3).
8. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife (Judges 21.19-25).
7. Cut 200 foreskins off your future father-in-law's enemies, and get his daughter for a wife (1 Samuel 18.27).
6. Become the emporer of a huge nation, and hold a beauty contest (Esther 2.3-4).
5. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a . . . women. Now get her for me" (Judges 14.1-3).
4. Kill any husband, and take his wife [prepare to lose four sons, though] (2 Samuel 11).
3. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. [It's not just a good idea - it's the law] (Deuteronomy 25.5-10).
2. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (1 Kings 11.1-3).
1. "A wife? Are you kidding me?" (1 Corinthians 7.32-35).
— Sunstone
September 1996
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