The belief that one should be able to control one's emotional reactions isn't new, not that you said it was. It's an important component of several philosophies I am familiar with, the most important being Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, and Stoicism. But these philosophies say that the ability to control one's emotions is a sign that the person is well-advanced in the philosophy, it is an admirable trait, but it's not expected that just anyone can do it. Because one must be able to recognize that certain things just don't matter, that this world is illusion. Maya. They cultivate non-attachment, to pleasure as well as pain.
What you are advocating, it seems to me, is that ordinary people with ordinary attachments to the material world, and ordinary emotions, practice the same type of self-control as a monk in a monastery. It's unrealistic. So what you should really be advocating is a mental practice of reminding yourself not to let things get to you, a kind of mental toughness. The emotion will be there, Michael, but you try to push it away. Not at all the same thing as not feeling it.
It's kind of like stiff-upper lip. "Big boys don't cry." And people in the upper-classes never lose their cool in front of the servants. Don't try to fool yourself, it will only make you crazy. A real emotion is a real emotion, but you can control your behavior. IMO. |
