Here you go Gary. As a friend and fellow Midland shareholder, here's some feedback:
Style feedback:
1. Do not get personal with NASD, nor Merrill, nor DF.
2. FACTS over FEELINGS. If your angry, say so, then go back to facts.
3. Don't go into too much detail, especially personal details. Make your point in a clear and concise manner.
4. You do not need to defend yourself. You're coming across as defensive when you do. Let the truth speak for itself.
5. You're speaking for all Midland shareholders, not just yourself. Change "I" to "We" throughout.
6. You're attempting to provide a clear, concise reason why Midland should resume trading. Make a strong case. Be compelling.
Content feedback:
1. Make the subject clear. Change "Ref: Unfair or improper business conduct" to something like "Ref: Resumption of Trading of Midland Inc".
2. Paragraph 1: Good intro. Clean, concise.
3. Paragraph 2-3: Delete? The personal details are obscuring the real reason for the letter -- resumption of Midland trading. We know you've been destroyed by Midland, but NASD probably doesn't need to know the details of the Midland saga. If you feel they're truly needed, put them as a separate attachment. Perhaps a chronicle of the events from your perspective. Keep the intro strong and concise.
4. Paragraph 4: Put a period after "have had to endure major losses". Delete the rest of the sentence about Internet voices?
5. Paragraph 5: Delete "However, the voices..." and remaining sentences. Too much detail?
6. Paragraph 6 and items 1-6: Perfect: Good, factual, clear,
concise.
7. Paragraph 7 and items 1-10:
- Item 3: Delete "... Merrill Lynch has a large influence over NASD..."? Remember, you're appealing to NASD management.
- May want to tighten up the wording on the other items.
8. Paragraph 8: Delete everything after "for a current CEO"? Rest of the paragraph has information already found in Paragraphs 6-7.
9. Paragraph 9: Perfect! ANYONE SEE ANY OTHER OPTIONS???
- Change "no further action" to "no further legal action"?
10. Paragraph 10-11: Delete?
11. Paragraph 12: Good appeal to "do what is right". Carrot approach.
12. Paragraph 13: Potential legal remedies. Stick approach, Use with carrot approach above.
13. Paragraph 14 and following. Fine.
Of course, you're free to ignore everything I just said! |
