Small Town "Police Report" (July 21 1999) ~ We don't usually get the paper. The weekly local one.
Cuz it's boring. Basically. Look, look, look, for something interesting. For a few occasional gems; rarer than raisins in raisin bran. [Like the Letter to the Editor last year, published in the tenth week of the run: "Will anyone in town who hasn't seen Titanic at the local theatre please see it, so we can get a new movie."]
But MJ got it this week, to look for berry ads. (F'rinstance, she got a WHOLE FLAT of nummy fresh raspberries last week.) On the last page is the police log, of all the calls that come into the dispatcher's office. We had 21 "incidents." The most serious was an accident. But they all get logged in there, and some body down at the newspaper office has to invent language for them.
July 12
1:40 p.m., assist public.
Caller reported a suspicious flier on his window and would like an officer to check it out. Officer did same.
July 14
5:08 p.m.. assist public.
Caller requested to talk to an officer about an incident that occurred to the caller (someone almost hit caller while he was in a crosswalk.)
[Chicken and egg. Some kind of loop going on there.)
July 15
1:25 p.m., vandalism.
Caller thinks that someone is spraying a plant killer on his roses and trees because they are dying from unknown causes. Caller would like this documented.
[Hmmmmm.
Suggestions?] |
