CNDR: DIALOGUE OF A SIGNAL
Dramatis Personnae:
Ivan Solotaroff, a degenerate cat fancier
Herman F. Schmuckwad, stock broker
Act I
(IS dialing a phone at 3:55)
HFS: Hello, Schmuckwad, Schmuckwad, and Filthscum, your account number please.
IS: @#$%@#$,
HFS: Your mother's maiden name?
IS: (@#)*##
HFS: And are there any other names on the account other than your own?
IS: No.
HFS: And how may I help you today, Mr.-r-r-r. Cutchacockoff? Did I get that last name right?
IS: Buy 1000 CNDR at market, right away.
HFS: Fine. Let me put you on hold for a second.
Act II
Bzzzz. Music: "I wanna fly like an eagle ... to the sea, fly like an
Fine. Now, where we, Mr. Slobanoseoff? You wanted to sell your MSFT?
IS: No, I wanted to buy 1000 shares of CNDR, at market.
HFS: Fine. Let me enter this order, right away. I have to put you on hold for just one-one-one-one second ...
Bzzzz. Music: "Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fu-u-u-u-utu
Act III
HFS: Fine, Mr. Knockyersocksoff. Gee, I just can't seem to get my mouth around that highly unusual name of yours. Heh, heh. Can I read this order back to you. Let-t--t's see. 1000 shares of Condor Technologies, at market.
IS: Yes!
HFS: And does this contradict any previous orders for today?
IS: No.
HFS: And will you except partia ... Ooops. Looks like the market just closed. Maybe you wanna consider calling earlier in the day, Mr. Stooperoff? Say, is that a Lithuanian name. I have a cousin who married a ...
CLICK!!
HFS (looking at receiver): Some people ...
The End |
