I would like to say that I believe everything you said is right. As usual. I feel very bad for my involvement in this whole thing.
I think it is true that the examples of sexual discussion I cited in defense of Christopher are different than one-on-one scenarios, even if the scenarios are done jokily-- because they are making people uncomfortable who haven't been made uncomfortable by the other discussions. Or at least not uncomfortable enough to complain. Christopher, that's the bottom line, clearly. This thread isn't Beltane, and is, in fact, a home to people whom it is impolite to make uncomfortable.
Penni, I want to say that in my perception, Christopher was being singled out, and judged by a different standard, and was on the receiving end of impoliteness that made me uncomfortable.
I still do think that things have been said to him that were beyond the pale; and I wish you had acknowledged that, if you thought so, too; or said that they weren't beyond yours, if you thought they were fine; or something. They made me feel for Christopher, and they don't just go away for me. I don't think it's fair to paint him as the sole villain here.
But, to Christopher: In my opinion, you have been offensive, too-- When I got in tonight and read your gratuitous, James-like slam against women, and saw that you were continuing your hate-is-love posts to X far beyond the point when it could conceivably be characterized as attempting to respond to personal attacks jocularly instead of angrily, which i thought you were doing earlier, adjacent to the repulsive-maggot attack, I had a very different feeling. Now, it is starting to feel like harassment to me, almost.
Anyway, I apologize to everybody for my involvement in this whole episode, which has so obviously been distasteful to people. X, if I was unfair in my questions to you, if it actually was an apples and oranges thing, I'm sorry.
I apologize to you, Christopher, because maybe in PM's and here, where I was partisan toward you, I think I saw things wrongly. Or partly wrongly. Christopher, if penni and Lather and Steven and jpmac and some others I respect very much all feel the same about this, you and I both have been deaf to something we should have heard. Edwarda heard it quite quickly.
X, I only left you off the list because you were not a disinterested party. Nothing personal. Really. You know I think you were mean. |
