More Back to School Science You Won't Believe...
The following are actual submissions on a series of
quizzes,tests, and essays. Enjoy...
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been
taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose
of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to. "
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines,
eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All
water tends towards the moon, because there is no water
in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where
the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more
extinct it is."
"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth
through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead
cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going
away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood
is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the
nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body
until the heart stops."
"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he
has not recovered, then kill it."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until
it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub
her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the
knees of the nearest medical doctor."
"To prevent contraception, use a condominium." |
