How To Shower Like A Woman:
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
> to lights and darks.
>
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
> boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to
> bathroom.
>
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut
> so
> that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
>
> 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long
> loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins
>
> 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
> vitamins.
>
> 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
> with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
>
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes
> until red raw.
>
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
>
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as
> you must make sure that it has all come off.
>
> 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
> get it waxed instead.
>
> 12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and
> you
> lose the water pressure.
>
> 13. Turn off shower.
>
> 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> Tilex.
>
> 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African
> country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
>
> 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
> nails/tweezers if found.
>
> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>
> 18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed skin and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half
> getting dressed.
>
> How To Shower Like A Man
>
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
> them in a pile.
>
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along
> the
> way, flash her making the "woo" sound.
>
> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut
> to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your member in the
> mirror, scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
>
> 4. Get in the shower.
>
> 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)
>
> 6. Wash your face
>
> 7. Wash your armpits
>
> 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
>
> 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
>
> 10. Wash your buns, leaving hair on the soap bar.
>
> 11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
>
> 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>
> 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
>
> 14. Pee (in the shower)
>
> 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
> floor because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time.
>
> 16. Partial dry off.
>
> 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire member size.
>
> 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
>
> 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on.
>
> 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
> your
> girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your dick, go "Yeah
> baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
>
> 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
>
> |
