FACELIFT
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On his way home he stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32", was the reply. "I'm actually 47", the man says happily. A little while later, he goes to a McDonald's and
asks the counter girl the same question.
She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The man replies, "Nope, I'm 47."
Now he's really feeling good about himself. While waiting for the bus home, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a man was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your pants. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the man and he finally says, "What the hell, go ahead." She slips both hands down his pants and begins feeling around.
After a couple minutes of this activity he says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"
She removes her hands and says,"You are 47." Stunned the man says, "That was amazing, how did you know?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's" |
