On an even lighter note, here's Nick Petreley's latest.
-JCJ
infoworld.com
A little bit of ingenuity can prevent
free software from threatening
capitalism
Capitalism is under fire as vendors leverage free software
to get an advantage over the competition. Microsoft dealt
a nearly fatal blow to Netscape by giving away Internet
Explorer and bundling it with Windows. Hardware
vendors are using Linux and FreeBSD to increase their
razor-thin profit margins, but this undermines sales of all
versions of Windows as a result. Sun is attempting to
undercut sales of Microsoft Office with its free StarOffice
and upcoming StarPortal.
How can profit-hungry software vendors survive in this
new market, let alone maintain inflated stock prices? I
believe I have an answer. My plan is for software vendors
to give away all their wares and make up for the loss by
selling insurance. All they have to do is keep the software
proprietary and leverage the benefits of the Uniform
Computer Information Transactions Act (For more
information on UCITA, see www.infoworld.com/ucita).
The best way to illustrate how this works is through a
sample sales pitch. Imagine being paid a visit by a rather
large fellow (about the size of a minivan) in a dark suit
with a white tie. He opens the conversation with, "The
Don gives youse guys his sincerest regards and wants to
know how his software is working for your business."
You reply, "We've had mixed results, but it sure helps that
the software was free. We were able to upgrade the entire
company in only six months because we could spend the
money we saved in upgrades on labor costs. It was truly
an offer we couldn't refuse."
"That is a good thing," he says. "A very good thing. Before
I leave, the Don wants to know if youse feel prepared in
the extremely unlikely event that something unfortunate
should happen."
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."
"You know, an accident," he replies. "These computers, I
don't understand 'em, but they're complicated gizmos. Now
that companies are programming some kind of
remote-control off switch, youse never know what can
happen. Somebody sends the wrong ones or zeros over the
imitation highway, and bam! Your systems go down."
"That's `information highway,' " you say.
"Whatever," he shrugs.
"Well, we're not really worried. We pay our bills," you
reply, visibly annoyed.
Mr. Minivan continues, "Sure. But hey, mistakes happen.
They can even happen during the Christmas rush. I think
you'd agree that it would be a very sad turn of events for
your company, because it could take us weeks to sort out
the error. That is, it could take weeks unless you play ball,
or rather, unless you agree to participate in our special
protection program. And because youse is one of our
preferred customers, all we ask is a half million clams a
month."
"A half million dollars? Are you nuts? I think it's time you
leave," you say.
"That is too bad. Because you never know what can
happen these days. Like for example, you don't want
anyone to get access to your private company data, huh?
We are prepared to make sure that your secrets will not be
inadvertently transferred somewhere you don't want 'em to
be. Such as to our respectable business, the National
Security Agency, or, God forbid, your competition," he
politely suggests.
"Well, thanks, but we're not overly concerned. We've
encrypted everything," you say as you open the door for
him to leave.
The goon stands firm and continues, "Yes, our encryption
is good. Very good. But, eh, somebody takes a lucky guess
at your encryption key and who knows? Conglomopoly
Inc. went out of business last month after its biggest
competitor, GarageTech, got to market faster with the
same product."
"Are you suggesting somebody decrypted their data and
sent it to the competition?"
"No, of course not," he says. "But we heard rumors that
the GarageTech CEO opened his e-mail one day, and bada
boom bada bing, the schematic for the new product is
sitting in his cat box."
"Inbox."
"Inbox, cat box ... the point is, where did it come from?
Who knows? But can you afford to take that chance?"
"I don't think I like what you're implying."
"I don't think you have a choice," the hefty fellow replies.
And that, my friends, smells like guaranteed income to me. |
