At a reading for roles in the "Pirates of Penzance" the casting director stated how tired he was of the flaky, dancing-boy pirates he had been seeing, and that he wanted more realism.
About this time a crusty old man on a peg-leg, with a patch over one eye, and a hook replacing his right hand, walks into the theater.
PERFECT! says the casting director. "Is that peg-leg real?" he asks.
"Aye," says the pirate, "me leg became tangled in some ropes and nearly pulled me overboard, but ripped me leg off instead, thank heavens."
"How about the hook?" the director asks, pointing at the pirate's missing hand.
"Aye, we were 'rounding the Horn' in a terrible storm when some cargo shifted and crushed me hand into nothing. That's when I got me hook."
"How about the patch over your eye, that's a fake right?" he's asked.
"Oh no," he says, "we was off the coast of Africa when I gazed skyward and a seagull crapped in me eye!"
"Oh, was it poisonous or something?" the director asked.
Puzzled, the pirate thought a minute then said, "No no. It happened the day after I got me hook. |
