Democrats Decree Tougher Warning Labels:
Warning Labels to be Written at a 1st Grade Level
WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is set to pass a bill that would require all warning labels to be written at a 1st Grade Level. Said Congresswoman, Sheila Jackson Lee, "This bill is necessary because an increasing number of Americans, especially recent High School graduates, are not capable of reading current warning labels."
Difficult, multisllyabic words currently dominate the warning label market. They contain words such as; hazardous, flammable, combustible, explosive, corrosive, solvent, immediate, ingest, nausea, irritation, and exposure.
The new bill would require all warning labels to use short, single syllable words. One Congressman even suggested requiring the labels to use first grade reading primer characters, Dick and Jane.
Some examples of warning label verbiage after the bill takes effect would be, "See Dick drink. See Dick get sick. See Dick Die" or "See Jane light a match. See bottle go boom. See Jane catch fire. See Jane die."
Congress is excited about this bill and hopes that it will help make our country an even safer place to live.
President Clinton has already said that he will sign the legislation. |
