R.E.B.: "Stuart, can I see you in my office?"
Young Stuart peels his face off the copy machine and heads to R.E.B.'s office.
Secretary: "That kid Stuart is really weird."
R.E.B.: "Get in here Stuart...... I just opened my Amer-Afraid account."
Stuart: "Let's light this candle R.E.B..... just enter 'Amer-Afraid.com'. It's as easy as falling in love.... I think."
R.E.B.: "O.K., done."
Stuart: "What stock are you interested in R.E.B.?"
R.E.B.: "Cabletron Systems."
Stuart: "So research it, everything you need to know is provided at no cost."
R.E.B.: "So, it's free?"
Stuart: "Yes, no cost is synonymous with free..... looks like a good stock. Let's buy some."
R.E.B. "Looks like a good stock."
Stuart: "Hell R.E.B., it looks like a great stock. Look at that potential. Look at the block money flow. Look at the takeover possibility. BUY IT R.E.B. HOW MANY SHARES?"
R.E.B.: "I think I'll buy a 100 shares."
Stuart: "A 100 SHARES? Are you chicken? Buy 500! Cluck ! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!"
Stuart begins to flap his arms in a poor attempt at duplicating a chicken trying to take flight.
Stuart: "CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK!"
Just as Stuart barks his 20th 'Cluck' R.E.B. brings the full force of the back of his hand in contact with Stuart's clucking face... WAP!!!
R.E.B.: "Listen you red and green haired freak, don't call me chicken. Not when 100s of weak-knees bailed out of CS and scurried back into their penny stocks today...... 100 shares Stuart."
Stuart: "O.K. R.E.B., you're right. Hey, you're about to buy a stock on line."
R.E.B.: "Ha-ha, yea-ha, BUURRRRRPPP."
Stuart: "BURRRRRRRRP-EEELLLLCCCCHHHH."
R.E.B.: "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
Stuart: "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
Stuart twists and turns his body and swings his arms like he's got a bee in his pants.
Stuart: "ow-yes, yes, oooh-yea, oooooo, aaahhhhhh."
R.E.B.: "How much did that cost me?"
Stuart: "Eight dollars my-man."
R.E.B.: "Eight dollars, my broker would have charged me $200."
Stuart: "Hey R.E.B., sorry man but I've got to get a soda. We're having a party Saturday night if you really want to come."
R.E.B. "Thanks, what's this time here '12 midnight'? Is that when the party is over?"
Stuart: "No R.E.B., that's when it starts."
R.E.B.: "I'm really gonna try to make it, thanks."
Stuart: "Happy trading. Rock on."
R.E.B.: "Thanks Stuart."
End. |
