THREAD LEVITY ALERT
Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on Earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer three questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T."
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, "The two days of the week that begin with 'T' are 'Today' and 'Tomorrow.' There are twelve seconds in a year. And God has two first names; they are 'Andy' and 'Howard.'
Saint Peter said, "Okay, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow. Even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is correct. But, how did you get twelve seconds in a year, and why did you ever think that God's first name is either Andy or Howard?
Forrest responded: Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."
"OK, I'll give you that one, too," said Saint Peter, "but what about the God's first name stuff?"
Forrest said, "Well, from the song, 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...' and the prayer, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name...'
Saint Peter let him in without further discussion. |
