Jokes Message Board - Msg: 11359402

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Pastimes : Jokes

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To: Vanni Resta who wrote ()	9/25/1999 1:04:00 AM
From: Karin	Read Replies (1) of 2733

Windows 98 Southern Edition Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have inadvertently been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The SOUTHERN EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background art of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver. Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse." My computer is called "This Dern Contraption." Dial up networking is called "Good Ol' Boys." Control panel is known as "The Dashboard." Hard drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive." Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic disc thangs." Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of duct tape pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION: OK: ats aw-right Reset: try er agin Yes: yep No: noop Find: hunt fer it Go to: over yonder Back: back yonder Help: hep me out here Stop: kwitit Start: crank er up Settings: sittins Programs: stuff at duz stuff Documents: stuff I done did Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. PROGRAMS EXCLUSIVE TO WINDERS 98 tiperiter: A word-processing program colerin book: a graphics program cyferin mersheen: calculator outhouse paper: notepad jupe-box: CD player iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 4.0 pichers: a graphics viewer irs: MS accounting software irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files tax records: generally an empty file coon dawg: American Kennel Club records You'll also recognize WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web: Fish: Bass Anglers Sportsman Society NRA: National Rifle Association Shotgun: Remington Arms home page Riffel: Winchester home page Pisstul: Smith & Wesson home page Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers by ZIP code House: Mobile home repair services and movers by ZIP code Cuzzins: complete database of southern residents Bud: list of Budweiser distributors by ZIP code Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule w/TV stations carrying races Car 'n' Truck Repair: junkyards by ZIP code Doc: veterinarians by ZIP code We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps y'all, Billy Bob Gates Head Honcholy

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