Speaking of ears, I was in Costco hauling out my pickled asparagus spears and pricing gallons of mustard and ketchup with MJ Saturday.
At the end of the aisle (there's always stuff in there I don't want to see) I notice this pallet, in the perpendicular pet section, labeled "PIG EARS."
So I go down there and check em out and the bag has a picture of Happy Dog eating "Doggie's Favorite Treat."
There's about twenty of these large dried pears in the bag. I'm thinking, "No; in The Name Of Civilization, these couldn't really be pig ears."
CONTENTS: DRIED PIG EARS.
I'm holding the former foliage of seven or ten piggies who went to market. Ewww. I put down the bag, which is instantly not only pathetic, it's slimey. Boy. These are the real pork rinds. There must be five hundred pig's ears in this pallet of boxes. (As many, by the way, as if you took all the ears off the people here in the Costco.) (Cynic veggie foot note.)
(People deserve it. What's a pig ever done to you?)
Bob Barker says, "So Harold ~ What do you do in Abilene."
"I work over at Western Pig Parts."
"Western Pig Parts?"
"Yah. They roll me over the heads, and I slice the ears off. Make doggie treats."
"Whuh. That sounds......"
"Well, it is. It's hard work. You have to grab em by the snoot, get a good grip, because they're slippery. Gotta put your thumb in their mouths, and I tell ya sometimes it feels like they're gonna bite ya. The heads come off first, and the ears are still perky. I don't usually like them looking at me, so I use my thumbs and squeeze the eyes out."
"Nowadays we got pig pikes, and you just slam em down on there like a pumpkin. We call it ~ 'a pig on a poke.' That's a little pig-head humor, Bob. We're pig-headed."
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[Hell, Norton operated "the pneumatic lung-sucker" at the chicken plant. Speaking of Tyson.] |
