You're all polishing your humor (or predictions of the future) very well, but truly, there's no need to make this stuff up. Ed is doing it for us:
biz.yahoo.com
Monday September 27, 5:15 pm Eastern Time
Company Press Release
SOURCE: Tasty Fries, Inc.
Tasty Fries Deployment of Production Units Delayed
BLUE BELL, Pa., Sept. 27 /PRNewswire/ -- Tasty Fries, Inc. (OTC Bulletin Board: TFRY - news) announced today it will
not install the first twenty-five production models on
September 29, 1999 as projected. ``We have elected to wait
for the availability of our new `Fry Basket.' This
intricate part of our French fry machine not only controls cycle time, but guarantees the golden brown color of our
delicious fries,' said Edward C. Kelly, President and
Chief Executive Officer.
Reading between the lines, Ed is admitting that he couldn't get the midgets to leave their cupped and fry-filled hands in the oil long enough to get the "guaranteed golden brown" color...
``The fry basket is probably the most important component
in our unit. It is the vehicle that carries the potatoes
from the extruder to the cook pot and ultimately to the
customer.' Kelly further stated, ``While we have waited a
long time to introduce a high quality maintenance free
machine to the market place, we feel a minor delay in the
final fabrication of the fry basket will be well worth the
wait. The basket is an aluminum extrusion, Teflon coated
and conforms to the high standards dictated by the
National Automatic Merchandising Association.'
Thank the extruded-potato gods that the NAMA is keeping us safe with its strict regulations on fry baskets for revolutionary french fry vending machines! Only they know the horrors millions have faced at the extruded-aluminum hands of unsafe fry baskets.
Kirk
P.S. I will give Mr. Ed credit for one thing: NOWHERE in this press release does he use the word "retooling." Now that's progress! |
