...Presuming a new millenium, I hear that we should prepare ourselves for a complete collapse of the entire world as the computers that run our lives will think its 1900. This will cause the following events to occure: elevators will suddenly stop between floors never to run again, jet engines will suddenly stop in mid air as on-board computers advise that it has not been serviced for nearly a hundred years, cars will collide at all intersections as the traffic signals go bonkers, boats will sink as the navigation equiptment guide the vessels to rocky shores by confusing longitude with lattitude, electricity will no longer be generated since the grid was not available in 1900, water will start to run uphill over embankments to empty our water pipes, food sources will suddenly disapear because the cows, pigs and chickens will suddenly think they are 100 years older and keel over to die. The local news and sooth slayers advise us that we should now stock-up on 3 months of food and supplies, including buying a COLEMAN stove to cook things on, as we bring in the new millinia....and so forth.
Oh, I forgot: trains will come crashing down from the sky.
Me: Yawn. I plan to celebrate New Millenia Eve by drinking the best champaine served with the finest of cheese available in the local market, to accompany a pound of thick New York Select cut, grilled the BBQ, rare of course, and enjoy the evening with my main squeeze and good music, to later turn on the boob-tube to watch the news reporters eat crow, say about 12:01am. After that, its sleep to wake up early enough to watch cartoons with the kids as we argue about what to have for breakfast.
Any idea what the next crisis will be?
Joe. |
