Things We Have Learned From Movies
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well
within the price range of most people whether they are
employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which
wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override
the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a
fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently
to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening
manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in
your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly
bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become
a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to
kill their archenemies using complicated machinery
involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers,
and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at
least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary
to visit a strip club at least once.
11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach
up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level
on the man lying beside her.
12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick
of French bread.
13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone in the control tower to talk you down.
14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while
scuba diving.
15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of
your sweetheart back home.
16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or
Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German or Russian accent will do. (It used to
be an English accent for the German.)
17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18.A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
wounds.
19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be
thrown through it before long.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate
any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but
will always say: Enter Password Now.
22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it
is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from
left to right every few moments. Tires will squeal on any
surface, at any speed.
23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going
to go off.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from duty.
25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone
you meet will know all the steps.
26. Police departments give their officers personality tests
to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who
is their total opposite.
27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer
to speak to each other in English. |
