A Big Blue Cloud Darkens the Dow
By Andrew Serwer
What Microsoft giveth, IBM taketh away!!! (Or
should I say, what Mister Softie giveth, Mister
Gerstner taketh away!!) A day after great news from
Microsoft boosted the market, bad news from Big
Blue sent it reeling (in the years) on Thursday. But in
the end, it wasn't sooooo bad. Unless you own a ton
of IBM?!? (Snark!) While the Dow fell 94 to 10,297,
it was mostly because of IBM. Otherwise, stocks
were mixed. NASDAQ actually CLIMBED 13 to
2801!! Hey, watch me, Carlos Valdarama (da hair!
Da hair!), I mean Andy Serwer, on CNN's
Moneyline Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:30 p.m.
EST. (Read Loose Change for a story that tells you
all you need to know about England.) Here's what
else is up:
IBM.... Actually heard some guys made some good $
shorting IBM. WOW!! Really, the signs of trouble
abounded (what does that word mean?) if you just
took the time to look. The stock hit $139 in July and
has basically been heading south ever since. You'll
remember a couple of weeks ago, Merrill took it off
its focus list. (Replaced it with Mercury Soft!) And
there have been rumors that Goldman was going to
do the same. Analysts weren't downgrading it (no,
they too flaccid for that!!) so much as they were
nibbling pennies off their earnings estimates. Now
Stevie Milunovich at Merrill Lynch thinks you
should wait until it hits the $80s before you buy!! On
the day, the stock fell $16 to $91!! That's almost
15%! Or a loss of over $18 billion in market cap!!
Stock has to be oversold soon.
OTHERS.... Bunch of stocks had big moves to the
northern edge of town today (if you know what I
mean!). AOL and Gateway announced a deal
whereby AOL is buying 5% of the Gate, and Ted's
computer company will offer AOL in its boxes. And
so Gateway was up $10 to $62 (god, that stock has
been hot!), while AOL climbed $4.25 to $122.25.
Meanwhile, Marketwatch climbed $10 to $59.50.
Vignette up $38.75 to almost $158.... Spyglass,
Aware, Wall Data, and E.piphany were all big
winners!! And folks, we love winners here on this
show!!!
SPEAKING OF AOL.... I am the happiest girl in the
whole U.S.A. today! Why?? Finally cancelled my
AOL account. FREEDOM!! FREEDOM!!! (George
Michael!) (Thanks Joe Peng, you did an excellent
job!) You know, when the guy asked me why I
wanted to cancel, I said to him: "Where do I begin,
friend? Where do I begin? The pop-up ads. The fact
that my online bank (Citi) had to create a separate
dial-in network because you couldn't reach them
using AOL as an ISP. The fact that I think no one
will be paying for ISPs soon." So I'm going to be
$250-plus richer this year. Thank you. Thank you
very much!!!
AWESOME NEW MAGAZINE.... It's called FSB
(Fortune Small Business). And you don't have to be
small to read it. It's edited by Hank (no, YOU the
man ) Gilman. He was the one who got me into this
online gig, so if you hate me, blame him!! And
Serwer has an INCREDIBLY funny book review in
it. Anyway, the first issue will be out Monday.
Cover story is "The Art of Lying." Guy with a long
schnoz on the cover!! Anywho, you can find it at
Barnes & Noble, Borders and Waldenbooks stores
nationwide. Chicago, New York and San Francisco
airports. Etc. Buy the shirt out of this new mag, so
Hank can have a nice Christmas!!
Loose Change
And from the department of Sarcasm: Two very
surprising stories today: "About 30 percent of
Russia's computer systems could be disrupted by the
Y2K bug due to a shortfall in funding to treat the
potential problem, Russian news agencies said
Thursday." Gee. And: "Cerent said Thursday it was
withdrawing its proposed initial public offering in
light of its pending acquisition by Cisco Systems."
Yeah. Good idea!!.... Philip Morris down $3.50 to
$23.50. Stock now yields north of 7%. Man, when
will this carnage end?!?.... Hey, Edelman PR! Why
are you still sending out stuff on Morgan Stanley's
tech group listing Rex Golding as co-head of the
Global Tech Group!?! Didn't he leave to go to
Softbank MONTHS AGO?!? (Hey MSDW, demand
a rebate!) That's Serwer, making friends!.... From a
weader: "Speaking of the Zombies. Andy: haven't
heard the name Colin Blustone in a while. Here's
some trivia for you. What band did the Zombie's
keyboard player (name him) form after the Zombie's
called it quits? (PS: and two members from that band
later joined the band previously known as the
Kinks.)" Answer: Argent!!.... "After being charged
20 pounds for a 10 pound overdraft, 30-year-old
Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed
poll to 'Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist Bastards.'
The Bank has now asked him to close his account,
and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p
balance by cheque, made out in his new name."....
Do you all ever use the word "slattern" to describe
anyone?? Duke does!!!.... Hey, let's go watch
Ronald Reagan's favorite movie again! (Sound of
Music, num num!!).... Did you hear that Tamir
Goodman, who turned down a basketball
scholarship to the University of Maryland, is
prepared to make an oral commitment to Towson
University?.... From Mike: "El Duque's Yanquis en
cinco!" Si si!.... You know what's tasteful? That
tune: "Driving around the world in a pickup truck!"
By Garth, and the movie, "Every Which Way But
Loose," by Clint with that big orangutan in it.... Hey
kids, I'm off to Saudi for a week, so I'll see you day
afta Halloween! Big good to Nel, AK, Jule and
EZED!! Chow!! |
