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Pastimes : Dream Machine ( Build your own PC )

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To: Zeuspaul who wrote (1)	10/22/1999 11:07:00 AM
From: Len	Read Replies (1) of 14778

Figured this thread could appreciate this.... The Top 14 New Features in Windows 2000 14> With optional metal probe, Microsoft's "Explorer" now explores more than just web sites. 13> Recycle Bin inexplicably replaced with an angry monkey. 12> Built-in Excel macro calculates exactly how many times Bill Gates can buy your sorry ass. 11> Calls your mother every time you log into porn sites. 10> Now incompatible with all hardware and software, instead of just the ones that I buy. 9> Crumple zones! 8> New "No Monopoly To See Here" background featuring a scrolling "Gee you're looking very lovely today, Ms. Reno" message and a dewy-eyed Bill Gates cursor. 7> Helpfully locates and destroys all non-Microsoft software on your computer. 6> Illegal operation error message now includes WAV file saying, "I can't do that, Dave." 5> Final installation screen displays the message: "Thank you for upgrading to Windows 2000. Windows will now restart your machine and render your programs useless." 4> First 3,500 customers to purchase Windows 2000 receive 12 free hours of antitrust litigation from Microsoft lawyers! 3> Crashes twice as fast as Windows 98! 2> New "Gatesland, Gatesland uber alles" welcome screen. and the Number 1 New Feature in Windows 2000... 1> Free technical support until 1901!

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