This is NOT a Dream....this is more like a One Act Play
Your dream reminded me of something... Not something nice, but something kind of funny in a Crockish way...
HOW I (ALMOST) LEARNED TO LIKE SITCOMS....
I cut my hand very badly while working on a wood carving a few years ago... Not a simple cut... a really terrible thing actually.
Mr. Croc hastily drove me to the emergency ward of one of our city's hospitals where I was quickly whisked into a room and immediately examined by a surgeon.... Things went something like this...
Doc: (after wrapping my arm with a pressure cuff to stop the bleeding) My, this is some cut... really nice and clean though... don't usually see such deep cuts without dirt or sawdust in them... must have been a good, sharp knife that did this...
Croc: Oh yeah...it was a real nice sharp knife..
Doc: Let's freeze your hand and see what we can do about this...
Croc: Seems unusually quiet around here tonight... what gives?
Doc: (injecting local into my hand) It's the Tuesday night sitcom line-up on tv...seems to keep people busy so that they stay out of trouble and don't show up here... well, except maybe for the people that don't like sitcoms...
Croc: I see... Maybe I should take up watching tv...
Nurse: (sticking head in the room) I'm not going to be able to assist right now... They've just brought someone into the trauma room and we'll need a couple of extra people in there... You going to be OK?
Doc: Sure, I think we can do this alone... (turns to me) You think you'll be OK to pump up that cuff to keep the pressure up while I work?
Croc: Piece o' cake.
Doc: So, how's the freezing... can you feel this? (gives my hand a slight poke with a needle)
Croc: SH*T!!!!.....Oooooops.....I mean... yeah... I can still feel something...
Doc: That's OK... it'll be pretty numb soon... (starts getting all of his stuff ready)... You know, you've cut part of the way through the tendon...but DAMN... you're LUCKY!!...could have been MUCH WORSE...could have cut the tendon to your little finger...
Croc: Gee...yeah..you're right... I feel really lucky...;-}>
Doc: (starts to stitch up my hand) Now, you're going to need to exercise this hand after the stitches are out... maybe even need some physio...
Croc: Well, I handmilk about 25 goats twice a day... maybe that will be enough, eh?
Doc: No kidding? You have goats? That's perfect!... By the way, I just LOVE goat cheese...and feta cheese... especially on Greek salads...
Croc: Ahhh..yeah... me too... with Kalamata Olives.. and a nice dressing made from lemon juice, wine and a little sour cream...
Doc: Yeahhhhhh..and maybe some hot little peppers on top... Gee... most people can't talk about food when you're stitching them up... In fact, most people get queasy and feel like they're going to pass out... You OK???
Croc: Yeah, I'm fine... no problemo...
Doc: Hmmmm... you keeping that pressure level up...we seem to be getting a little bleeding here.....
Croc: (taking a quick look at the pressure guage) Hmmm... you're right... pressure is down... pump..pump..pump.... That's weird...nothing's happening....
Doc: What? Try again...
Croc: pump...pump...pump... Hmmm... Hey! Look at this!! The black bulb thing has fallen off the end of the hose!! LOL!!!
Doc: LOL!! Hey!!...I've never seen that happen before!!...this is NOT GOOD!!! If I touch it, I'll have to scrub again...
Croc: (examing the bulb with my good hand) It's OK... I think I can fix it... seems to just screw on somehow... (fiddling with the bulb for a few seconds...) Yep...I think I've got it... pump...pump...pump... Ahhhhh...we're back in business...
Doc: That was weird...
Croc: I'll say...
Doc: (finishing up as the nurse sticks her head into the room to ask if he can come to assist in the trauma room) Well, I should run... but before I go... I've got to tell you something...
Croc: What's that...?
Doc: You are just about the......uhm.....silliest person I've ever worked on...but I mean that as a compliment... it's actually been kind of fun! (grins, waves and bows slightly as he backs out of the room)
Croc: mumbling to self - Gee... I think I actually would have preferred an episode of Frasier... |
