OT Re Weekend Thread Fracas
Oy! You go away for a couple of days and the thread implodes! Not good. For what little it's worth, I would implore all involved to reconcile themselves with each other as thoroughly as possible, so we can get back to having fun and making money. I also offer the following observations:
Thread Bloat and Testimonials
IMO, the most unfortunate aspects of Straight Life's original post were its appearance right after Poet's heartfelt story and its linkage of thread bloat and testimonials. The latter--of which Poet's post was a classic example--are deeply moving and entirely legitimate components of this particular cybercommunity. The former, on the other hand, can indeed be a real problem at times, and might be addressed by somewhat more judicious use of self-discipline (author included) and private messages. Finding some way to get ourselves off the SI "Hot List" might also be useful. Anyway, by conflating the two and directing the comment at Poet, Straight Life erred and ensured that the post would give more offense than intended.
Gender Issues
A chief reason for the offense almost certainly lies in the difference between male and female conversational styles. (Those who don't know much about these should get married or read anything by Deborah Tannen.) Whereas (let's not forget) Uncle Frank responded to Straight Life's post with a gentle, chiding, "chill out, buddy," Poet and others shot back with some heat--both predictably and understandably so, IMO. Being more sensitive both to how one's comments might be perceived and to the difficulties of appropriate emotional inflection in virtual communication might help to avoid future crises along these lines.
Escalation, Resignation, etc.
Things really got out of hand later on Saturday, however, as UF apparently PM'ed some of the female posters in question; they took further offense; posted a public challenge/manifesto; and ultimately declared their intention to abstain from posting entirely in the future. For someone not directly involved, watching it unfold in retrospect, this was all deeply distressing, because this is a community, and the whole brouhaha reprented a serious blow to it. (Reminds me of a story I read in Wired a couple of years ago about the demise of the Well.) It may be too late to restore amity among the parties involved, but I hope not. The key is for people to a) apologize sincerely for any offense they may have given and b) forgive and move on. It was poignant that at the same time this was occurring, there was also a discussion on the thread about how to keep a marriage healthy even under stress. Anyone who's been in such a relationship knows that while avoiding fights is important, making up after them is even more so. Do whatever it takes.
We've already lost Gregg Powers thanks to one of these blow-ups; let's not lose the very special thing that is G&K as well.
tekboy/Ares@timetoendthisandmakeup.com
PS chaz, re post 9883, the missus now occasionally signs herself off as "professor tekgirl"... : ) |
