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Technology Stocks : Dell Technologies Inc.
DELL 126.42+2.8%Dec 19 4:00 PM EST
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To: rudedog who wrote (146810)11/8/1999 11:45:00 PM
From: jim kelley   of 176387
 
The great white whale is slippery and Scotty will lose his trophy in the Appeals court if it not settled before then.

I propose the following settlement terms:

1) MSFT will pay Scotty's lobbying bill and for the competitions witness fees.

2) MSFT will publish source code for Windows 98 and NT.
(so we can have as many versions as there are versions
of UNIX- isn't that a great idea?)

3)MSFT will pay medical expenses for all carpal tunnel
syndrome cases.

4)MSFT will trade some its best technical employees in return for the worst employees at the competeing companys.
( This will level the playing field)

5) MSFT will submit its product prices to a Federal Public Utility commission (FUC) for approval. Board members to be appointed by competeing companies.

6) All new products which may have an impact on any competeing company will be submitted to the judge to make sure they are not "abusing" their competitors.

7) Bill Gates will be required to attend 20 weeks of sensitivity training courses to help him rid himself of his
abusive competitive instincts.

8) Bill Gates will kneel on the steps of the DOJ in Washington D.C. and kiss Janet Reno hand and ask for forgiveness for his excessive competitiveness.

This is an incomplete list of remedies so feel free to add
to it.

:)
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