So there I was with my Sony Play station in the middle of the Rub al Kahli with perhaps 3 grams of aqua pura in my canteen and it's midday. Boy could I use a drink. Five star, old velvet, anything..
The batteries on my sony playstation had run out and although there were phone booths everywhere, not a single one had a DSL or cable internet connection. I pulled out my cell to phone marcy the office secretary to come with a tray of refreshments. That always worked in the past no matter where we were, but the battery had funked out, bone dry. No quarters for the phone booths and the sandstorms had hopelessly jammed the card slots. What a planet to get stranded on!
What to do? It had been 3.4 parsecs since I had abandoned the ship and anyway its engines where completely out of hydrazine, which you could imbibe in a pinch. I gazed at the ultra high bandwidth playstation and squinted into the noonday broiler. Jeez.. now what was that Scotty had said about the proton drive on a bufors-star cannon? Feverishly I unlocked the aiming device and stripped its connections exposing the dremel switch. I grounded the hypotenuse to a rock and had the makings of a half wave filter for the superheterodyne framus tuner. Now to fine tune the frequency so that when teh signal bounces off the contrails of all those nuclear lear jets that had lost cabin pressure at 60 thou in the late 90's, it comes down one phase past the Boy Scout emergency frequency. (Not the new sexually ambivalent Boy Scouts, but the old closet Baden Powell brigade*) Ok, take the fifth wire on the dremel and start pounding the morse.
"Lost desert. Send case whiskey. For location follow beam trajectory backwards. Jim"
What's this? .. a star like glitter on the horizon. What the ?.. oh oh.. maybe one of those lear jets..
hmm..
KASPLOOSH...
yeh gods!.. I got the order phone on the Mcdonalds take-out in Phoebe Brook Montana.! That is one case of root beer with the !@$!@$! lids off! TO GO!
How to change freq on this !@$#!@ playstation...
how do you fake a variable capacitor...
One more gross of RootBeer with the lids off and I will have to admit defeat..
to be continued..
* Baden Powell was a water boy in the Queen's Own Eight-Armed Gorillas during the Boer War. He found it so refreshing that he decided to train other water boys for future conflicts in case they ran out of volunteers.
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