Well, I hope ya all didn't think this was going to be the end of what I have to suddenly say because for some reason I'm in a writing mood. Lucky you.
Random thoughts and other musings about the "Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!" thread.
Part I
Having been a member of SI for almost three years now, I've come to notice many of the changes which have taken place in the Coffee Shop. When I first started perusing this part of SI, there weren't all the thread topics like there are now. Granted, there were probably even less I'm sure than when I first joined, but the number of topics seems to have exploded in the last year and a half.
This thread was started in what '95 or '96 (writing this ahead of time on Microsoft word)? Yet, when one looks at what is in the Coffee Shop now as compared to then, it is fairly easy to see that there have been so many threads which have come and gone, perhaps rightfully so. Check the archives for the Coffee Shop if you don't believe it.
To me, this seems to suggest that those threads which still are actively participated on have some measure of attractiveness and hence staying power. This just happens to be one of those threads. And since it has sustained the test of time up to now, it seems only natural that there has to have been some evolutionary processes taking place in the thread's history.
Christine, the person who started the thread, had already begun the thread quite some time before I ever made her aquaintence (obviously) on the "Deadheads" thread. I remember that she had invited me to come over and participate on it, and I suspect that she probably made the same invitation to others which she was bound to meet on SI, which is not to suggest the thread was ever meant to be "by invitation only". Quite the contrary.
I believe that Christine envisioned a type of thread where many different voices from all walks of life, regardless of race, creed, education, class, or income level, could explore different ideas and voice opinions accordingly with a certain amount of respect shown for
those voicing the opinions. It was, and may very well still be, an admirable quest. I don't believe she would be real thrilled with the exclusionary types of thinking which at times, seem to me, to try to shape the thread into something which was never intended; a squatter's rights kind of bs.
I had read quite a bit of the thread starting at around 2500 (however it was so long ago, I'm not quite sure about this) before ever making my first post. I didn't think at the time there was much to it, but I came to learn a very important lesson by way of my own mistakes--one cannot always know just what one is thinking or what one's intentions
might actually be when reading the comments of others. While it has been stated so many times in so many ways, learning to successfully communicate one's ideas or opinions is a learning process. It is my personal opinion that one cannot be overly fastidious when seeking to convey the exact meaning of one's intentions by way of their opinions. In simple speak, one cannot read another's mind successfully the majority of the time. And I believe it is unfair to assume that those reading the posts of the writer, can do so. Hence, it seems to make perfect sense to me that one always be cautious of this very situation.
I've seen so many incidents which have caused the thread turmoil, and seen so many people come and go. Some have come and stayed, while others posted a few times and as yet have never come back. Still others, more like myself, come and go irregularly as it seems to fit us.
I also remember the times when a few of the posters (far past the greenhorn stage, now) were just beginning to get to know one another. A number of those people stayed and even seemed to make the thread a second home sort of speak on SI. I believe this is probably what has contributed most to a sense of "our thread" type thinking which many
new comers may encounter. Again, I suggest, this was never Christine's intent as I've come to believe it to be. Unfortunately, when one sees post after endless post by the same contributors many of which amount to nothing more than people simply having fun with one another, it seems quite likely one can get the impression (by default) that the thread has evolved into something completely different than its original intention and hence, the exclusionary type of thinking comes about when an "outsider" has a desire to participate. As one might
rightfully guess, I'm not particularly fond of such thinking, however, I do understand the human tendencies behind such thinking. When such a case arises where certain people feel more comfortable with one another, then starting a thread which states who the desired
participants will be to the thread does not seem to me to be a bad idea. I think this is what we might be seeing now with some threads which have been started well after this thread established its own identity. Splinter groups are a reality of human history.
But I do not believe that once the quote-unquote splinter group start a "club house" that those people should be expected to stay off the thread. This thread, by its very nature, was, and I hope always will be, a place where anyone can come without predetermined qualification and participate until they see fit to do so no longer by their own choice. Nor do I hope one must only stick with whatever the dominate conversation is at the time. Preferably, any subject on any topic can be submitted at any time without reproach provided any poster who does so keeps in mind that he or she will treat others in a fashion
they, themselves, would expect others to treat them. Civility and a non-aggressive manner will always, in my opinion, be desired traits in spite of any personality differences.
(I read my PM's. I may or may not respond, but I want you to know that I thank you and appreciate talking to me versus at me.) |
