Well, ok then...I'll leave a little scrolling space for anyone who accidentally stumbles across it. It's true we were told this story, I have no idea if the story itself is true.
... warning!
... danger, Will Robinson, danger!
... last warning!
Courtesy of Drill Sergeant Jones...
"Alright, men, you've been here 6 weeks and some of you are getting a weekend pass. We know you're going go out and drink yourself silly. We also know you haven't seen a female in 6 weeks and some of you are going to hit every line-dancing bar in town looking for some action. That's why we gave you those ridiculous haircuts.
But if the quarter-pounder [what they called the 1/4 inch of stubble they left on our heads] isn't enough to keep you out of trouble, let me tell you a story about what happened to a young recruit a few years back.
This particular young man went out on his pass and found himself a girl for the weekend. They had a few drinks, had a few laughs, one thing led to another and the next thing you know they're in a hotel room on Victory Drive. This new girlfriend asks him if it's ok to tie his hands to the headboard. He's drunk of his a** and not thinking, but if he were he'd be thinking "ok, a little kinky, but what they h***."
She ties him up, takes of his clothes, takes of her clothes, he's now getting very, very excited...when all of a sudden the closet door bursts opens and out jumps some huge guy dressed up as Batman. But without the tights. Who then proceeds to....
...well, let's just say our young recruit wasn't able to sit properly for a few days, and leave it at that. Afterwards they left him tied-up, and as the Caped Crusader was leaving the room he called out, "Tell all your friends...I'm Batman!"
Now, for those of you with weekend passes, have a good time but don't be too stupid. Trust me, you don't want to be in a position where *you* need to be explaining your sitting posture to *me*. As for the rest of you, there's a dozen duece-and-a-halfs in the compound that need washing.
Company...dismissed!" |
