(OT) With tremulous trepidation that a storm forming off the coast would sock us in, and, with my multiple neuroses running-amok, we lifted off from Logan Airport and beat the storm is less time than it takes Maria Bartiromo to get every trader within these contiguous-48 excitied about this or that stock just before the opening bell.
Suzy and I were jauntily off to a little island in the Caribbean for 10 days of sun, sand, swimming, wild sex and a much needed rest (for me). 'Cause if you really wanna know the truth I tend to trade lousy after six straight months.
We've been here, in this idyllic island paradise for six days. We've had five days of non-stop torrential downpour. The fish are wearing raincoats and galoshes. Me, I'm at the moment drawing up plans for an Ark.
Suzy, ever the optimist, says "Let's play cards."
"Gee," I say, I'd really love to, but I musta forgot to bring a deck." I didn't forget. I burned 'em, 'cause she moiders me at cards. And at Scrabble. And Mah-Jong. And Monopoly. And "GO".
"No problem" she says, "I'll run into town and buy a pack of cards."
"Terrific" I say, "I can hardly wait."
She returns with the cards. We play. She clobbers me. In a half hour I'm down seven zip.
"How 'bout we er, fool around?" I suggest. I got maybe a slight chance here. Suzy shrugs an OK.
We start. Suzy falls asleep as I'm pitching-woo, making my best moves. It's only the FIRST inning! A lengthy session with the infamous but never cantankerous Doc Kronkite is 'coitantly in order.
Now I've gotten a coupla nibbles from on-line sites that maybe want a light column about the market from me, maybe once a week. So I'm rackin my noodle for a catchy column title, 'cause the title is Very Important. Would you read "The Selectman of Secaucas"? Nah. But "The Mayor of Casterbridge" is a grabber. "The Silence of the Lambs"
would pull you right in. But "The Mooing of the Cows"? Feh.
Suzy stirs, yawns, wakes up. "Say" I say, "How 'bout we head for the beach?" I LOVE the beach; the sand, the sun, body-surfing.
"Look out the window" Suzy says. I look. The rain's coming down faster than IPO's in a hot market.
"Well, we could, er, fool around" I say.
Suzy yawns, rolls over, and in less time than I could short 200 shares of INTC she's fast asleep.
Next day I rise well before the sun. Grab a buncha towels, a blanket, pack a lunch and wake up Suzy with a "Come on boobeleh, let's go to the beach already."
"Look out the window" she says.
I look. It's raining. Hard.
Six days I've been here and I haven't seen the sun. I miss you guys. I miss Ameritrade's "Stuart". I even miss Maria!
Another day of rain and we're outta here. (Lee) |
