<<I don't have children, but if I do, I will most certainly work fulltime, not because I have to, but because I will want to.>>
Lizzie, you started posting here when I was taking time off, so I really have no idea how old you are, but I can tell you that lots of women I know believe they are going to go right back to work after they have children, but once their babies are born they are terribly torn at the thought of doing so. The lucky ones who have enough money to stay home then often change their minds and stay with their children. I think this is partly instinctual--unimaginably strong bonds are formed when you have a baby that you cannot really understand until you have experienced it.
This is different from the early 80's when I had my child. All the college-educated moms in the park on Saturdays were working and very proud of it--they typically went back to work when their babies were six weeks old, and the sooner they did, the stronger they felt. In fact, there would be arguments in the park as our babies played because feminism was such a driving principle that they accused me of wasting my life because I chose to stay home and nurture my child. By the early 90's there was really a sea change as many feminists realized that being a super mom really was a myth, and that freedom of choice as to whether to work was very important, not a rigid ideology that stay-at-home moms were unproductive.
I have a younger friend whose first memory of his mother is saying goodbye to her when she dropped him at day care. This seems very sad to me. Children need immense attention from one adult who spends time with them; this is how they are stimulated to grow and learn. As far how your self-esteem issue ties in here, I can only comment that I believe my own daughter's self-esteem is much healthier than it would have been had I worked when she was little. I think that it speaks volumes about how much you love your child if you are able to defer your own gratification long enough to nurture them completely at least until they are in school. That is just a few years, and the rewards are lifelong for you and your children.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see if your opinions change a bit when you have a child. I suspect they might. |
