It is not that I perceive anger when a woman refuses to submit to patriarchy. I instead perceive if patriarchy is all you have claimed it to be, woman has submitted to it whatever she thinks and however bitter she has become against it. Like a sparrow struggling to fly with eagles, she curses her lot to her eventual detriment. I think she would derive more mileage and pleasure from life were she to face her identity and get on with living well as she is. So, she is a wounded sparrow. What of that? She yet may live well. But truly I perceive the matter far differently than even this, as I do not acknowledge this Draconian patriarchy from which you seem perpetually to flee with your whole life's energy. I do not acknowledge it because I think the facts do not wholly support it. You flee from a ghost, and by doing so create your own tragedy.
Of course you would not call it a tragedy to be so deceived by anger that you would hungrily exist in the dust, never rising to experience real joy. Indeed you would call all this misery a "precious commodity," and I suppose a certain so called joy can be found there. Nevertheless this joy can neither reflect nor appeal to man's higher aspects. It is the stuff of subterranean provinces. You see, something has come up from the depths to corrupt you such that you now insanely cling to it much as does your assailant. This life of self-delusion is, to the perceptive reader evidence that as long as you hold your course, you and your assailant remain one flesh. Both your souls are knitted together and corrupted by the same anger and bitterness. It is better you reject such a man, despite how many drugs and seizures you encounter on any given day.
You obviously agree, at least in principle, with my point of view, else you would not have tried 'not to hold onto the experience.' Unfortunately one cannot detach from a misfortune while nursing bitterness. Bitterness is a deceptively thin thread ever keeping you tethered to the thing. I think instead of forgiving everything, you merely repressed the matter for six years, and when the residual effects began changing your physical life, the bitterness, now having silently corrupted you for six years, returned with near abandon. There is a forgiveness that frees even from the misfortune of rape and worse things, like death. I think you did not try this forgiveness six years ago.
I've always seen death as the ultimate Peace after sharing a planet with too many people like you.
Ouch, baby. Very ouch. I have little idea of the people with whom you have 'shared a planet,' but I know of a certainty none are like me. Perhaps you look forward to being with me in heaven, and that this is why death promises such peace for you. If not then you are too much a victim that mere people can cause you to view the absence of glorious life as a virtue. My child, I have no need to "keep attempting to dominate you," as your bitterness does the job far better than I ever could, or would. And it is a pity, coey. Folk here, despite your lunatic lunacy (perhaps because of it?), seem drawn to you (grin). |
