The family pathologies were much more complex than simply having to do with whether the mothers worked
Or spanked the kids--
Or hugged them--
Or read to them--
I always hesitate to jump in with any thoughts on these topics because of what you just said. ANd somehow when someone says- Spanking is bad- then someone else gets all bent about it, and says they spanked and doggone it, their kid is great! ANd then everyone whips out studies to prove his own viewpoint, when in truth, a family, the relationships, the whole interaction and all the biological and cultural and environmental factors make parenting so complex that to try to say anything with any degree of predictable certainty is doomed to failure.
Sucessful parenting is not a narrow one-way alley but a wide highway that offers several different lanes- all taking you to the same end- a healthy, adjusted adult who will contribute to rather than harm or live off society.
To criticize anyone for giving a swat on the diaper seems presumptuous to me, just as saying a working mom is neglectful takes extreme arrogance. THere are just too many combinations of techniques that can have good results (or poor ones). And sometimes you can do it all "right" (by SOMEONE's definition) and still wind up with Jack the Ripper.
For the most part, I think we all try very hard to be consistent, to set a good example, and to act with love at all times, whatever our chosen method. Will we screw up? Absolutely. BUt the discussions shouldn't be aimed at whether someone slapped a child's hand once when he reached for an electrical socket, and ohmigod, he must have ruined that kid for life, but toward educating parents about possible results of out-of-control spankings, or the physical expression of anger. Studies may not be perfect, but they can provide information for consideration.
Incidentally, I smacked CW's behind a few times, decided it was NOT effective, and never laid a hand in anger on Ammo.
I don't think either one suffered particularly because of either approach. I think love overcomes a lot. |
