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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!

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To: MSB who wrote (67145)12/18/1999 11:20:00 AM
From: epicure  Read Replies (2) of 108807
 
I remember very well being hit- and I remember thinking "when I am BIG I will get even for this". I had pretty murderous feelings for my parents when they were spanking me for "correction". I doubt I am the only person to feel that way. As spankings made me very angry and resentful they made me want to get back at my parents (mostly my mother, my father wasn't much of a spanker). I think they actually made me naughtier and sneakier. I remembering justifying some bad behavior (to myself) by saying to myself- that I didn't have to behave for such a horrible mother- of course it wasn't verbalized in quite that way in my little brain, but I remember what I felt with great clarity.

My daughter tells me EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Things I wouldn't have DREAMED of telling my mother. And I never punish her physically. Even when I DO punish her- no matter how angry I am- I try to make the punishment less if my daughter has been honest AND I try to make the punishment fit the "crime". My children are infinitely better behaved than I was- they aren't sneaky, they don't lie, and they don't do nasty things in anger to retaliate against me.

I remember everyone got "the belt" in the neighborhood where I grew up. Welts and bruises were common. Now that is considered shocking. I do not think I will be surprised if spanking goes the same way as belting. It might not- who knows? I only know that in our house we have found other types of discipline much more effective and emotionally satisfying than physical punishment.
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