Volvo? Did someone say the Magic Word?
It must be time to post my dissertation on the mighty Volvo once again, I know that Lather and Drygulch both get a laugh out of it:
Talk : Misc (General) : The Official Guide To GOOFS
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To: Christine Grace Bartley (393 )
From: JF Quinnelly
Saturday, Aug 3 1996 11:38PM ET
Reply # of 3316
>Volvo looks interesting.
I've been pondering this Volvo thing since I saw a chow dog pissing on one this
morning. Sure, no one is getting killed in Volvos. Because no one is driving them. Let's
do some serious analysis of the potential market for Volvos. Can you picture any
self-respecting Generation X'er with a tatoo and nipple-ring puttering around in a
Volvo? I thought not. Can you see Beavis and Butt-head lusting after a sleek and
powerful Volvo? Let's get real. So what we_do_know is that Volvos are cars for
fuddy-duddies, for super-annuated '60s peaceniks. "Oh", you protest, "but look how
many of them there are! They are the Baby-Boomers! They are the pig in the
demographic python!" Tschaa!!! No way! We're talking McGovern voters, not the
whole herd of 'Boomers. McGovern only won one state! How many do you think there
are? Do you think Bill and Hillary and their corporate piranha yuppie pals are going to
drive Volvos? Not! We're talking Lexus, Infinity, Big Beemer, Mercedes Benz!! Now if
we are going to see just how big the potential market is for these frumpy Swedish sleds,
we ought to find out how many pairs of Birkenstocks are sold each year. And even that
won't help. These Volvonauts don't even drive them. They park them in the driveway
and feel guilty. They walk. They ride bikes. They carpool. Clueless yuppie friend, face
the bitter truth: whale-huggers are a useless target audience. Volvo is not a GOOF: it is
a TWIT: Totally Worthless Investment Theme. Put your money elsewhere. jfred.
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