To Everyone with my love!!
'Tis the season of giving! Everyone has said that probably a thousand times in their lives. It is always better to give than to receive, everyone knows that saying! It is so very easy to give, especially this time of year. We give to family members, we give to charities, we drop a few dollars to the guy on the street. We don't give it a seconds thought when we drop our change into Santa's pot outside of the store because it makes us feel good that we are doing just a little to help those that need it. We feel good seeing the faces of our loved ones as they open each present one by one. We feel good with each news story that comes our way. For example: the mother with 3 children whose family now has a Christmas, because someone gave unselfishly. Why is it so easy to give and give without a selfish thought but so very hard to be on the receiving end?
I find myself in a position that I have never been in before, that of receiving without the benefit of giving in return. I'm just not sure how I feel about that, which BTW is what prompted this story. How many of you actually buy a few extra generic presents, wrap them up really pretty with blank name tags, and toss them under the tree (just in case someone stops by with a gift that you hadn't already bought something for in return?) Be honest. I've done it in the past and I know that some of you have as well. That really came to light for me personally today when I baked some cookies and took them over to a friend's house that isn't doing so well. When I gave her the cookies, I was told "Bill, I just don't have your gift wrapped yet, I'll bring it over tonight!". Well how do you do, I found myself feeling resentful because I know that my friend did not have a gift for me but she was going to get one because I had given her one. I was feeling resentful, not because my friend had wronged me in any way, but because I felt she had taken away from my "giving", though as small as it was, it made me feel good inside. Why couldn't she just accept it with a hug and a smile and allow me my moment?
HELLO!! BINGO!! For two weeks something has been bothering me deep inside. Something that I could not identify, didn't understand, and definitely didn't like feeling but what was it? Well the wake-up call came, it hit me between the eyes, here I was "receiving" without the means for giving. I am writing this story because I have received gifts from some of you out there that I feel I have cheated out of feeling good because I didn't have the courage to just say "Thank You". with a hug and a smile. I didn't have the blank gift under the tree and I can't "bring it over tonight", oh my lord, I am my friend. My pride made me set conditions before I would accept any Christmas gifts. Mr D., please don't get angry, but I want the entire world to know that you are one of those that tried to give me a gift and I set conditions before I would accept it. I singled out Mr.D because of those that continue to rag on him about being "REAL". This man is so real, so kind and generous, and so honest that I pale in his shadow and can only hope to emulate his actions. Mr. D is not the only one in our little family who has shown extraordinary honor, unconditional trust, and a true caring for each of us. There are so many that I will not attempt to name names for fear of overlooking even one, as well as, some who may not want their names mentioned here in public.
I came up with this letter as my return gift to everyone, for all that everyone has given me, not just now at Christmas, but through all the months and years some of us have been together. My return gift is for the inner warmth I get every time someone calls on the phone, or sends me a personal note. It is for the usefulness I feel when people tell me they enjoyed a story or for the times someone writes that a story I have put up on the thread helped them get through a particular difficulty. It is these things that make me a better person because I strive to find that story my heart tells me is important. I try harder each day to live up to the person everyone thinks I am and this is just another step.
So my gift is, to those that have given so freely, a hug ((((((((())))))))))) and my warmest heartfelt "THANK YOU".
I pray that you feel the love that I do hold for our friendships and I know it will stand the test of time for all of us. Merry Christmas and I will be thinking of each and every one of you today and every day!!
wb |
