> > - TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE
> > Christmas, in Clinton's White House
> >
> > Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse.
> >
> > His stockings were stuffed with China funding galore
> >
> > Collected by Chung and Vice President Gore.
> >
> > Bubba was nestled all snug in his bed,
> >
> > While visions of interns danced in his head.
> >
> > And away in a mansion in Chappaqua, New York.
> >
> > Hillary Rodham is sleeping far away from the dork.
> >
> > But Chelsea was back in her own White House bed,
> >
> > "Do Christmas with Dad," their advisors had said.
> >
> > When out on the lawn came a racket so great,
> >
> > Bill thought the right-wingers were storming the gate.
> >
> > He hid under the covers -- he quivered and shook,
> >
> > Then called to his henchmen to go have a look.
> >
> > "Hey, Vernon! Hey, Carville! Go check out the yard!"
> >
> > No one answered his call, not even his guard.
> >
> > Away to the window Bill flew like a flash,
> >
> > Tripped over his night stand, knocked over his stash.
> >
> > The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
> >
> > Made him think of Lewinsky in times long ago.
> >
> > Then suddenly his wandering eyes became fused,
> >
> > To an oversized sleigh and six women he used,
> >
> > With a little old driver so lively and quick,
> >
> > He knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
> >
> > More rabid than lawyers Nick's coursers they came,
> > And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
> >
> > "Now, Gennifer! Now, Paula! Now, Sally Perdue!
> > On, Monica! On, Juanita! On Dolly Kyle, too!
> > To the top of the porch, to the roof even higher!
> > Now, dash away! Hurry! Let's visit this liar!"
> >
> > So up to the housetop the women they flew
> > With a sleigh full of rage and Saint Nicholas, too.
> > As Bill bit his lip and was twirling his curls,
> > Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with the girls.
> >
> > "Well, I'm happy to see all you women at last,"
> > Clinton sputtered and stuttered -- he had to think fast.
> > "I love to give presents, I'm sure you'll agree,
> > And look at the stuff for you under my tree."
> >
> > The gals didn't answer but Nicholas did,
> > "You're not a real man, you're a middle-aged kid,
> > Who's selfish and vengeful and wants his own way,
> > You've spent your life lying and thought it okay.
> >
> > I've been keeping a list of cruel things that you do.
> > Seems harassment of women is normal for you."
> >
> > "Your actions and words have hurt innocent men,
> > Yet you 'feel the pain' of the F.A.L.N.
> >
> > Selling secrets to China -- you really don't care,
> > Just as long as Ms. Reno can cover your rear."
> >
> > "You sullied the office you swore to uphold,
> > And tried to hurt people with lies that you told.
> > You cheated the country you promised to serve,
> > Then shrugged it all off with your conscienceless nerve.
> > Of scruples and ethics you haven't a clue,
> > High values and morals are simply not you."
> >
> > "And so on this wondrous Christmas Eve night,
> > I'll do what I can to set some of this right.
> > I can't alter events that have already been,
> > I can't change what you've done, but I'll wipe off that
> > grin."
> >
> > Then he spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
> > First he opened his pack then turned back to the jerk,
> > And tossed him an empty box wrapped all in red,
> > Saint Nicholas looked straight at Clinton and said,
> > "This contains all the dignity, courage and class,
> > You've brought to the Presidency these seven years
> > past."
> >
> > And giving a wink to the ladies nearby,
> > Up the chimney Saint Nick and the women did fly.
> > They sprang to the sleigh and took off with the breeze,
> > They were happy to leave the commander in sleaze.
> >
> > He just didn't get it -- he never really would,
> > Have any idea of what it means to be good.
> > Bubba heard them exclaim as they drove through the
> > sky,
> > "It's DECENCY, stupid. Why not give it a try!" |
