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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions

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To: Susie924 who wrote (2102)	1/7/2000 11:25:00 AM
From: Barney	of 2380

The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. ---------------------------------- FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG ------------------------------ FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG ------------------------------ GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. ------------------------------------- FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. ----------------------------------- 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer ---------------------------- AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. ------------------------------ SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. ------------------------------- 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 ------------------------------ TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 ------------------------------ COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. -------------------------------- 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 --------------------------------- STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15 ----------------------------------- FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. ----------------------------------- FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. ---------------------------------- FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 ----------------------------------- NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBIE ------------------------------------- BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" -------------------------------------- SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS -------------------------------------- HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" ---------------------------------------- GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. ------------------------------------------- HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB ----------------------------------------- GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. ------------------------------------------ NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED ------------------------------------------ FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. ------------------------------------------ AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 ------------------------------------------- TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. --------------------------------------------- EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. --------------------------------------------- OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. ----------------------------------------------- JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. --------------------------------------------- ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER -------------------------------------------- GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL. ---------------------------------- OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS -------------------------------------- KELLOGG'S POT FARTS - $1.99 box ----------------------------------------------- FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb. --------------------------------------- FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. ----------------------------- GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

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