I see that Summers' parrot learned new words: -g- #reply-12560393
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It is January 24th, 2000: The stock market has seen a very violent sell off in the last 5 sessions. DUNG was down 30% DOW was down 20%.
Venue: Mr. Summers residence:
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Mrs. Summers: Honey wake-up, it is 7 O' clock.
Mr. Summers: "Our strong dollar policy remains intact."
Mrs. Summers: Honey, I am not the press. Apparently the spooos are down 2% again today and the Spoolice are on the line waiting for your instructions.
Mr. Summers: Ooophs. Habitual mistake. Tell them to do their thing! By 9:30 the spoos should be up by at least 1%!
Ring. Ring.
"Hello, this is Summers"
"I know that, you dickhead! This is the prez. What the f*ck are you doing. I just turned the TV and the spoos are showing that the stock market will open down. We cant take any more down days now. You know your mandate - work with me to build my legacy. Two more mishaps like this, I will kick your sorry ass out of my cabinet. Is that clear?"
"Yes Mr. President."
"Now get down to business."
.......
"Hello, the Greenspan's residence."
"Hi Andrea! Summers! You know, you are amazing. How can you answer the phone while Imus is sucking-up to you on air?"
"Well it isn't that difficult. Imus spends a lot of time talking about his ranch and I take that time to attend to other chores."
"Put Al on the line."
"Honey, call for you!"
Al.com: "Tell him that I am not talking to him."
Andrea: "It's not Imus. It is that fat clown - Summers"
Al.Com: "Alright!!" picks up the phone and "What now?"
Summers: "Slick called. He is mad as hell as the market is falling precipitously. He said we will be sorry if the market doesn;t turn around by his state of the onion address."
Al.COM: "You know my problem, Larry. The bond market has me by balls. The currency guys are threatening me with a visit from another clone of the Realman. I can't do a thing now."
Summers: "Don't say that now. You got to help me out here. Cut the rates now. Pass a coupon or two. Print more. Sell gold - whatever."
Al.COM: "Give it up larry, it is over. I am not going to accept the nomination. I am moving to Himalayas to spend my retirement with a Maha Rishi over there. I already shipped enough peanuts over there." Click!
Summers: Yells at the phone "Come on, you asshole... Well I am on my own I guess!"
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At the press conference later that day:
Summers: "Our policy towards strong dollar remains intact!!"
And then he checked at his pager, the market started roaring back!!!
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