I have a confession.
I broke down and bought a TV. As you know, I do not watch TV. I have not watched TV for a very long time.
I bought this TV so I could watch CNBC while I was trading. You can see the TV in that picture on my profile.
Well, today, I watched some TV. I guess this might sound really, really stupid, but as I said, I have not watched TV in a long time.
I am utterly flabbergasted. Most TV is really awful. I mean, I knew that some of this stuff was on TV, but I have never actually seen this stuff. I could not have imagined how bad TV sucks. I flipped the channels and I saw:
Jerry Springer. There was a little title box in the corner of the screen that said "You Are Too Fat To Make Porn Movies". I am not making this up. There were some real fat chicks on the stage, in lingerie, dancing seductively. Jerry Springer is obviously totally insane. This show is just plain evil. I am actually amazed that it exists. I saw no social value; as a matter of fact, it was clear that this show is anti-social. There was another show on that was like it, with this lame babe named Ricki, but it was just so awful that I couldn't even watch it long enough to see what it was about. This tripe is on all the regular networks. I know this might sound really wild, but I have never seen these shows before. It is completely amazing to me that anyone would watch this stuff. It's pretty scary how low it has gone.
E. This channel had a show where the guy was showing different clips from Jerry Springer and other shows like that. Then, there was this self-serving show about celebrities and fashion and stuff. A channel that you watch to see clips of evil television and stories about Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra's marital spat. Right.
Supermarket Sweep. This is a show where these people run around this fake supermarket loading up their shopping carts with crap. The person that gets the most groceries wins a prize. Astounding.
The Wavy Nasty Channels. Two channels with people screwing. It's amazing. That's all. People screwing. The funny part is that I can't see them clearly, it's all wavy because it has some sort of encryption because you have to pay for it. I made up a game, which was to go to a different channel and then back to these and try and spot a female nipple. It never took more than 15 seconds. I was laughing so hard I almost got a cramp.
Benny Hinn. This is a real weird looking dude that combs his hair from the bottom of his head up to the top to cover his bald spot, and then sprays spray on it to hold it. Then he talks about demons coming across the border from Mexico. There were some other people on this channel, the best one was this lady with a bad wig and about two pounds of makeup on, who always looked like she was about ready to cry. I would cry too. Pathetic.
Walter the Mexican Psychic. This dude is amazing! He dresses up like a woman in a college production of a bad 19th century play, he has plucked eyebrows and a blonde hairdo and fake jewelry and everything, and he appears to dispense some sort of Christian/Astrology type stuff. It's in Spanish, so I did not understand it, but this dude was for sure the weirdest single humanoid I have seen since I moved from Hollywood. It's the Spanish channel. You gotta see this guy, he is really wild. He has candles and really cheap furniture and two cameras and he has clearly instructed the camera operators to go back and forth when he turns his head. I think maybe if I spoke Spanish, I would not have watched it as long as I did. Liberace on acid.
The Shopping Network. This is a whole channel that has crap on it and these announcers talk to the people that call in to buy the crap and they talk about the crap they just bought. It was cracking me up.
The Other Shopping Network. Same thing but different people and different crap.
I figured out how I could program my TV so that the only channels that I can get are CNBC, sports, cartoons, old movies, and sci-fi. |
