Bulletin of Special Interest to SUV Drivers <nudge, nudge>
(Note: Slightly edited to conform to SI TOU.)
Disgruntled astronomers open divider strip
mini-superstores
Apparently on account of how, like, they don't know what the <bleep>
they're doing or something, a former team of astronomers at the Jet
Compulsion Lab in Pasadena, has decided to open a chain of
Barnes and Schwabbucks mini-superstores on highway divider
strips just outside 60 major US metropolitan areas all across the
country.
The mini-superstores will be extremely long and really really thin,
and will sell coffee, books, and financial services through their
windows to people in stalled SUVs during day-in day-out traffic
jams on Americas top 60 clogged suburban-urban arteries.
"Beats discovering bogus new galaxies and trying to come up with
cool new names for theoretical fabrications which will only be
proven terribly wrong in about a day or two, as soon as somebody
finally makes it through the endless traffic jam to arrive at the lab
and run almost any random experiment whatsoever," said Barnes
and Schwabbucks CEO, Joe CEO.
CEO also claimed his company will completely ignore the worthless
piece of <bleep> internet and will advertise exclusively on multi-car
freeway pile-ups, using quick visual ads spray-painted on the
wreckage by fast, low-flying helicopters, and targeted specifically at
the rubber-necker demographic.
c3f.com
|
