Hey, and I thought that the World Wrestling Federation was going into baseball, not football!
So I guess this news report was all wrong! (I had to edit it a little, since wrestling is such a rough sport, you know.)
WWF Buys MLB
The World Wrestling Federation has purchased major league baseball for an undisclosed amount of threats and a couplea bloody horseheads left in certain CEO's beds.
According to WWF owner Vince McMahon, Major League Baseball, which has essentially lost all appeal to fans, will now be made over into, you know, like, so-called "Sports Entertainment," if you know what I mean, with only 5 innings per game, 2 outs per inning, 2 strikes and you're out, and 1 ball and you walk.
"Fewer innings with less actual play," McMahon told the sports press, "will allow more time for character and story development. Players will be encouraged to <seduce> each others' wives off the field and to break bats and water coolers over each others' heads, on the field. The pitcher and batter will be miked so the pitcher can run through lengthy streams of trash talk that echoes through the stadium, before each pitch, and the batter can be trash talking right back over the loudspeaker as the pitch comes in."
According to McMahon, all umpire signals and 3rd base coaching signs will be variations of the popular "finger," so beloved by unruly mobs everywhere. "Accidental deaths on the field, however," McMahon assured reporters, "will be totally, you know, accidental!!"
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