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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!!
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To: Janice Shell who wrote (6868)4/27/1997 10:56:00 AM
From: Rambi   of 108807
 
Leaping in after skimming 100 posts--why does the thread get so busy when I'm not around? And dry up when I am? Is this personal? Apologies if I echo sentiments already expressed that I missed in rushing

I think Janice has an excellent point about confusing the protective instinct with empathy. We are indeed programmed biologically to ensure the survival of our offspring. A mother's body having miraculously(I am still awed by this) created this new living creature, it responds physically to the baby's need and cries. We know the hunger cry, not because of empathy, but because the milk flows automatically. We're designed to nurture and protect. As my boys hit adolescence, my husband often seems more empathetic than I. And if (God forbid-I can hardly type these words!) something happened to one of our children, I know that he would suffer as deeply and horribly as I. I'm not sure that was true when they were infants. I think the ability to empathize is latent within us all, but is dependent on societal factors to fully develop. Normally this has been promoted in females and not encouraged as a desirable survival characteristic in men. This variance has gotten less distinct as the boundaries set by traditional roles fall.

I would even comment that I find many of the men more empathetic and open on the threads than in 3D; perhaps they feel less constrained to play the approved macho role and can reveal themselves more freely?
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