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Pastimes : The Naked Truth - Big Kahuna a Myth
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To: BGR who wrote (84447)2/11/2000 8:17:00 AM
From: re3  Read Replies (1) of 86076
 
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
>McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they
hired
>him because he was so honest and funny!
>
>
> NAME: Greg Bulmash
> SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
>DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously,
>whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be
> applying here in the first place.
> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael
> Ovitzstyle severance package. If that's not possible, make an
offer
> and we can haggle.
> EDUCATION: Yes.
> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
> SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen
pens and
> post-it notes.
> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited
to a
> more intimate environment.
> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I
> be here?
> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
> YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here
would
> be "Do you have a car that runs?"
> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
> may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House
Sweepstakes.
> DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
> the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super
model
> who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
I'd
> like to be doing that now.
> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
> THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
> SIGN HERE: Aries >>
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