Here is something I found interesting
IT'S ONE THING to listen to a person attentively. This is nice and it's
polite. However, the art of actually hearing someone, understanding what
they are saying, what they mean, what that means,and then responding to that
borders on an advanced art form. All of this, of course, plus plenty of
wisdom, compassion, strength and encouragement, is the communication
skill-set that is expected from a seasoned manager/co-worker. And which
management/managers effortlessly does with the workers/associate.
The specific foucs of this article is to understand the idea that there are
certain things to listen for as you listen to what your associate's/worker is saying and
not saying. It may be overwhelming and you may be hearing when one should be
listening, sit down make up list,
called the Listening Chart, things
that people say and don1t say when they communicate and each one matters.
Why? Because the more completely you hear your people, the faster and
better you will be as a team and contribute to your company.
The notion has some truth that humans don1t articulate themselves very
well, on one hand, due to lack of vocabulary to describe what they are
feeling or wanting to say. And, on the other hand, due to the fact that
most of us aren't even aware what we are experiencing, feeling, needing or
wanting. A child psychologist once told me that the reason that young kinds
throw tantrums (other than as a device to get what they need) is that what
they are feeling -- frustration, anger, etc. -- is far bigger than their
ability to language it, so their bodies takes over to release the
energy/anger because their level of awareness and facility with words isn1t
great enough.
The amazing thing is that adults aren't that much more advanced than
kids are. We adults still throw our tantrums, or pout or clam up. And, for
the the same reasons -- we just don't know all that we're feeling nor do we
know how to effectively say what there is to say. As a coach/manager, then, what
you are able to do for your people, is to hear what they are
trying to say and to help them to say it. Here's a list of the primary
types of things you can become an expert at listening for:
-- What's not being said.
-- What's needed right now.
-- What's missing.
-- What's in the way.
-- What's most important to the team member's
-- What false assumptions are made.
-- How well/quickly the associates are grasping what you're saying.
-- How aware the associate's are of themselves and their environment.
Sound like a lot to do and hear? It is, actually. But after some
experience, you'll be able to listen fully and respond
appropriately to all of the above areas, within seconds. And, you'll be
able to filter out what isn't relevant and be able to priortize what is.
There are really two steps to becoming an expert listener. One is to learn
how to listen and what to listen for, as described above. The other is to
identify and reduce what gets in the way of your ability to hear. Just as
it's difficult to hear very well when you've got the music on loud
next to your phone, so is it very difficult to hear when your
mind and body are making lots of noise. You can reduce the din by working
on your Personal Foundation. When your needs are met and youve resolved
stuff that makes emotional noise, you can really become an extraordinary
listener.
Use this chart as a way to prompt you to hear EVERYTHING that is said -- and not said. The better that you listen, the better that you can manage. It's that simple.
1. Listen for Values
Adventure Beauty To Catalyze To Contribute To Create To Discover To Feel To Lead
Mastery Pleasure/Play To Relate Be Sensitive Be Spiritual To Teach To Win
2. Listen for Strengths
PROFESSIONAL
Communication Craft/Technical Intellectual GeneralKnowledge Good Judgment Experience Track record Results-oriented
RESOURCES
Cash Time Ideas Opportunities Prof. Network Cntrs of Influence Colleagues Large Rolodex Family connections Has a vision
INNER
Courage Willingness Awareness Adult-ness Responsibility Perspective
3. Listen for Behavior
CLUES
Fear Upset Tiredness Resignation Domination Sadness Things Break Business Dips Bad Events Adrenalined, Up Money Tight Compulsive Constant Changes Illness Lateness
4. Listen for Language
CLUES
Overpromise Not straight Lies Make wrongs Acts Shoulds Coulds Oughta do's Will do's Judging Puffery/Flowering Charge up/down Digs/Undermine Jargon-based Heavy filters
5. Listen for Rackets & Bad Habits
Causes crises Victim/Suffering Drama/Upsets Withholds Perpetrations To-do Inventory Self-imposed limits High hidden costs Too busy, frantic Procrastination Avoid consequen. Diversion-prone Adrenaline Lying/Denial Too-positive a spin
6. Listen for What's Missing
Structure Cash Income Encouragement Information Experience Distinctions Awareness A Vision Possibility People Time Space A Plan Focus Profitability Expertise Language Skill Energy Strategy Listening Commitment Self-Esteem Community Network Big Enough Game Order/Organized
7. Listen For Needs
Be Accepted To Accomplish Be Acknowledged Be Loved Be Right Be Cared For Certainty Be Comfortable To Communicate To Control Be Needed Duty Be Free Honesty Order Peace Power Recognition Safety
8. Listen for Personal Foundation
Completed Past Integrity Restored Needs Met Strong Boundaries High Standards No Tolerations Pos. Come-froms Loving Family Community Values-oriented
9. Listen for Personal Development Level
Full Reserve 100% Grateful Present is Perfect Few Goals/Wants Inner peace Gentle Naturally Effective Attractive Happy Blissed Dances w/ others Self-responsible Satisfied Fulfilled Balanced Buffed Present Light High Self-Care Who vs what Purpose clear
10. Listen for a Need for Therapy
Alcohol misuse Adult Child Codependency Drug misuse Sex. compulsion Sex. dysfunction Suicidal Self-sabotage Major Denial Major Resistance Mood swings Depression Lost-ness Food misuse Love addiction Spendaholic Shame-based
Refer to a Therapist
11. Listen for Client Type
Entrepreneur Sales Professional CEO/Executive Creative Restorative Career/Corp Manager
12. Listen for Coachability
Assimilation Rate Readiness Havingness Ableness Trusting Willing Openness Responsive Self-generating 3D vs linear "Gets" the process Self-responsible Committed Rapid Results
13. Listen for Source of Motivation
POSITIVES
Goals Commitment Money Success Wants Environment Choice Contribution Values
NEGATIVES
Rackets Unmet Needs Shoulds Fear, consequence Addictions Psych. Issues
Opportunity has spread its wares before you. Select what you want, create your plan, put the plan into action, and follow through with persistence. Capitalistic America will do the rest. - Napoleon |
