I think that anyone who volunteers to risk his life in a wicked foreign war (Vietnam), to kill innocent civilians (in Korea and Tokyo MArch 18 1945), to A-bomb cities full of women and children (in WWII), to torture prisoners (in every war), to shoot civilians in a ditch (in My Lai) to kill the wounded after battle (in every war) is an ignorant, foolish, cruel young man. I am glad that I never volunteered to do these things, and that in one case at least I was able to stop an atrocity at the risk of my own life.
I am no longer sure that I would obey a draft call in any random war. I never considered draft evasion in the Korean War. I probably would have if I'd been called to defend Chiang Kai-Shek by bombing Chinese cities.
I regret that I volunteered to help manufacture early H-bombs. They have never been used. All but 6 per cent of the tritium I helped make is now decayed. Perhaps while it was usable it helped prevent a Communist takeover or victory. No one can know.
If I hadn't worked on it someone else would have. I was well paid ($2,400) for the time (1955). I regret today having any thing to do with it. I gave back that money long ago.
Today I voluntarily work in testifying as a forensic economist in court. Usually I work for the state attorney general. My testimony often prevents people from winning damages against the State. When the court rules that a man who killed his son in an automobile accident on a rain-soaked undrained state road deserves no damages in large part on my testimony, I can't bring myself so far to claim my fee ($5,000) for my testimony even though I told the truth. I once had a plaintiff in whose behalf I had testified and who lost thank me for testifying, and pay a fee three times as large because he said I was the only person who had really understood him and his business practices. I felt no guilt for that.
It is hard and dumb to believe that one has made no mistakes, but I know from experience that I am incapable of committing an atrocity, and that I will always step up and tell the truth despite orders of authority. |
