HELLO All Porch Dwellers!
<The good people of Voltaire's crowded porch all turn toward the road. They all look in curiosity to see who it is who calls them. All they can see and hear is the rumbling of an old beat up Pontiac convertible with a noticably different colored front left fender...>
I said Hi, Y'all!
<Voltaire scratches his head wondering who this person could be... Is it his long lost cousin Billy Bob? Is it one of Coonass's drinkin' buddies? Must be a friend of Polvie...>
<The stranger puts the car in gear and it lurches up the driveway. The car bobs to a stop as the worn out shock absorbers squeak with each bounce.>
<The ol' hound dog lifts one ear, walks over to the car and lifts one leg, right infront of the balding front tire.>
"I'd like to introduce myself", says the the stranger as he hops out of the faded reddish colored ragtop.
They call me ClaptonsGuitar! But you can call me anythin' you want.
<ClaptonsGuitar slowly begins to walk up the porch step. He gently touches the splintered wooden handrail and smiles. He looks around at the WONDEROUS Porch that he has read so much about. He is in awe as he approaches the people who he has read about for the past several months...>
So many times I thought about making this long journey to come and see you all.
<The Porch People look a little uneasy as to why this person is here. Jill and Poet casually step behind Jim Willie and Dealer as they are unsure if they want to be the first to shake this odd ball's hand.>
<CG gazes over at the Giant Rocking Chair. He stares at the feet of the person he suspects is the Almighty Voltaire. He kneels before The Great One. A hand dangles before Clapton's face. He reaches to grab it and kiss the ring that Volt is wearing...>
<Before ClaptonsGuitar plants his lips on the shining gemstone, a voice is heard coming from the front door.>
ELPOLVO! Get out of my chair again!!
<Polvie leaps from the rocker, over the railing and hides behind the magnolia tree. He then mumbles under his breath, "...some day...">
<Voltaire approaches the trembling stranger.>
"What can I do for you?" says Voltaire.
Not a thing. You've already done it. You've created a wonderful place where friends from all over the world can come and share stories, exchange ideas, talk stocks, and most of all have fun!
This wonderful oasis is what many have dreamed of.
I want to be a part of it!
I want to share stories, talk strategy, flirt with the beautiful ladies, have fun kidding each other, and most of all, continue to learn from all of you great people.
I can not thank you enough! You have taught me so much!
I drove all the way from The Land Of Yahoo to tell you this.
<He looks into the large Silicon Investor T.V. camera that sends all of these beautiful pictures of words. He smiles and waves like a bystander in back of a news reporter...>
<Uncle Frank notices the steam boiling out from the Pontiac partially lifted hood...>
Mr. Voltaire, would you please sign this for me.
<Voltaire looks at the paper that is waving in front of him and wonders why this person wants an autograph...>
I need you to sign this release form.
<Volt puts on his horned rimmed reading glasses and slides them down to the end of his nose. He reads through a bunch of fine print until the part that says "PAID IN FULL". He quickly signs on the dotted line. With a puzzled look on his face he hands to paper back to CG.>
Thank you very much sir!
I will return in a few minutes!
<Clapster dashes off the porch and jumps into the car. He leaves tread marks as he tears out of the dirt driveway onto the road.>
Which direction is the hardware store?!?!
<Lurqer steps out from behind the shrubs and points left...>
I shall RETURN!!!
<The car speeds off as the Porch People look at each other for an answer as to what just happened...> |
