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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (13820)3/17/2000 7:47:00 AM
From: John Carragher  Read Replies (2) of 62551
 
In case you needed further proof that the human race is
>>> doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
>>> instructions on consumer goods.
>>>
>>> On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
>>> (gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
>>>
>>> On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase
>>> necessary. Details inside."
>>> (The shoplifter special)
>>>
>>> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>>> (And that would be how...?)
>>>
>>> On some Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>>> (But it's just a suggestion.)
>>>
>>> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box):
>>> "Do not turn upside down."
>>> (Too Late!)
>>>
>>> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
>>> heating."
>>> (As night follows the day...)
>>>
>>> On packaging for a Rownta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
>>> (But wouldn't this save even more time?)
>>>
>>> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
>>> operate machinery after taking this medication."
>>> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
>>> we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts)
>>>
>>> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>>> (One would hope.)
>>>
>>> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>>> (As opposed to what?)
>>>
>>> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
>>> (I got to admit I'm curious.)
>>>
>>> On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains peanuts."
>>> (Talk about a news flash.)
>>>
>>> On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
>>> eat nuts."
>>> (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
>>>
>>> On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
>>> enable you to fly."
>>> (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>>>
>>> On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
>>> hands"
>>>
>>> On a baby stroller: "Remove Baby before folding."
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