<Clappy blows the dust off of the Lonworks remote control. He walks over to an empty rockin' chair, plants himself there and rests his tired feet upon the soapbox.>
<Clap presses a few buttons and suddenly floor boards and wall panels begin moving, shifting, and sliding left to right.>
<The startled Polvie and Coonzie put down the garlic and butter sauce along with Rose's legs and run for cover. Polvie recognizes this noise as it usually preceeds some sort of slapstick humor involving his self coming in contact with some sort of moving mechanical device. (Since he began the studying of options, he has realized that he also has the option to run out of the way of the moving piece of furniture before it sends him flying over the railing and into the bushes...)
He jumps out of the way as the Real Jukebox raises from the floor.>
<As Clappy rests his tired feet, he puts out his left hand. Slowly a six pack of Paptse Blue Ribbon raises from the floor to end table height. He begins to kill the six pack, just to watch it die...>
<Pinhi walks over to the Real Jukebox and puts in a few quarters and presses B-52 and bombs us with the blues. Coonzie turns the volume up to 11 as the Allman Bros. "Whipping Post" begins blaring out of the speakers.>
<Clap mumbles the words of the song as he closes his eyes and gulps from the can.>
<Dealer Dude begins explaining to Jim willie that the double top of the Nazdaq is roughly the size of a Double D bra size. JW, insists that they are merely C cups at best on a day of water retention. Jim takes out a folded dollar bill and puts it on the crevise of his double topped Naz graph paper out of habit of preforming that act on a usual basis...>
<Coonzie takes the graph paper and puts it up to his chest and begins to do his best Janet Reno impression...>
<Clappy, who is quickly on his 3rd PBR, begins to think that Coonzie Reno is beginning to look a little bit on cute side...>
<The QCOM payphone can be heard ringing...>
<Dr. Joel picks up the receiver and Techquerilla is on the other end calling from Fidel's hacienda. Joel puts TG on speaker phone.>
TG, yells into the phone, "I told you QCOM would begin to take off as soon as I got to Cuba!"
"I had a good long talk with Castro, and I think I may have gotten him turned onto this internet stuff. Fidel just opened an account with Accutrade and I'm teaching him Voltiare's Stress Free Investing. He love's it! He is a much more relaxed person now. He's now thinking about opening up to Democracy. They scheduled a vote for November.
...and get this... The ol' bastard wants me to be his running mate! I just might get to hang out on these beaches forever!"
<Dr. Dave picks up the Lonworks remote and presses a few buttons in attempt to figure out how the contraption works.>
<CandideMan and CRDesign duck just in the nick of time as the broken CREE ball swings down "much lower" than usual.>
<Polvo unsuspectingly walks by as he continues to lecture She-X on the proper methods and strategies of Options Trading. The CREE ball wizzes by either side his head as it pendulums back and forth. He wonders where that annoying breeze keeps coming from. As he innocently steps 1 foot to the side and is now directly in the path of the swinging LED filled orb, he ducks just in time as he realizes his shoe is untied...>
<Leggs and Lucky decide it may be time to spike the lemonade with a little of the hard stuff to help ease the pain of today's Naz. Dealer comes out as usual to lend some of her charming Southern Comfort...(Lame pun intended, sorry 'bout that...)>
<Ruffian, Melinda, and Greg the Frenchman, stare at amazement at how Polvie is able to continually dodge the CREE ball without even realizing it...>
<Coonzie steps up onto the soapbox and begins doing his impression of Silvia Wadva singing the blues in a deep burley voice as Lurqer backs him up on air guitar as he pretends he is CNBC's psychedelic hippie Ron Insanna...>
<Voltaire slowly walks out to porch, sees the chaos, shakes his head, and walks back into the safety of his home and vows not to walk out there again 'til April...
by then the Fools will be busy counting their money instead of being part of this circus on the porch...>
<As Clappy finishes his last beer, Coonaz realizes he had better pop the stooges bubble by revealing he really isn't Janet Reno immitating Silvia Vadwa singing the blues...>
<The rejected dimwit looks at his half empty glass and begins to walk over to the bar to fill it up again when he is suddenly met with the swinging CREE ball right into the kisser...>
<Polvie laughs at the silly moron as he sails over the railing into the newly planted azalea bushes. Polvie brags to SheX that stuff like that don't happen to him anymore now that he has learned to invest the Stress Free Way...>
-PeteTownsendsSmashedGuitar
P.S. Check my spelling. If you find any mistakes, mentally rearrange the word to fit what it is you think it is.
I'm too beaten to correct myself. The Naz was correcting me all day today... |
