> > > Winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay"
> > > contest:
> > >
> > > He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
> > > guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
> > > of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
> > > speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
> > > eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
> > > (Joseph Romm, Washington)
> > >
> > > She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
> > > dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
> > > open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
> > >
> > > The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
> > > bowling ball wouldn't.
> > > (Russell Beland, Springfield)
> > >
> > > McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled
> > > with vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
> > >
> > > From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
> > > surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
> > > "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley,
> Washington)
> > >
> > > Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
> > > (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
> > >
> > > Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
> > > center. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
> > >
> > > Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
> > > T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by
> > > mistake. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)
> > >
> > > Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
> > > (Unknown)
> > >
> > > He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
> > > (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)
> > >
> > > The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
> > > fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)
> > >
> > > Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a
> > > movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like
> > > "Second Tall Man." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
> > >
> > > Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
> > > grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
> > > left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
> > > at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
> > >
> > > The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
> > > on a Dr Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)
> > >
> > > They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
> > > resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)
> > >
> > > John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
> > > had also never met.
> > > (Russell Beland, Springfield)
> > >
> > > The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet
> > > of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
> > > (Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)
> > >
> > > His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
> > > underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
> > >
> > > The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
> > > (Unknown)
>
>
> |
